Marry Me (12A)

Latin pop diva Kat Valdez is poised to marry her on-stage partner Bastian in front of their adoring fans. Shortly before the big moment, she learns that he has been having an affair. Humiliated on what should have been the happiest day of her life, Kat stares out into the crowd of her live concert and sees mathematics teacher Charlie Gilbert standing with his daughter Lou, holding a handmade sign that reads, "Marry Me". Impulsively, Kat accepts Charlie's unintended proposal.

LondonNet Film Review
Marry Me (12A)

As lead actress and producer of Marry Me, Jennifer Lopez turns up her star wattage to 11 in a frothy and instantly disposable romantic comedy about a Latin pop diva, who takes a leap of faith by exchanging vows with a random guy plucked from the crowd of her New York concert. Adapted from Bobby Crosby’s digital comic, director Kat Coiro’s confidently choreographed fantasy remixes rom-com genre staples, supported by new songs from Lopez and Colombian co-star Maluma including the catchy title number and an obligatory empowerment ballad, On My Way…

A decent chunk of running time is devoted to Lopez performing tracks in luminous, lip-glossed close-up so Marry Me operates unabashedly as a slick promotional tool for an album. Thankfully, she forges an appealing on-screen partnership with Owen Wilson and they kindle simmering chemistry as accidental newlyweds scorched by failed previous marriages, who infiltrate each other’s worlds with trepidation.

Frustratingly, the temperature drops a few degrees when they kiss. Erupting passion should never be this polite and respectful. Screenwriters John Rogers, Tami Sagher and Harper Dill apply Instagram filters to characters and every emotionally testing scene, polishing rough edges from a celebrity-reality culture clash set-up a la Notting Hill until the only logical conclusion is a cutesy happy ever after.

Kat Valdez (Lopez) hopes marriage number four will be the charm when she ties the knot on stage at Radio City Music Hall with Grammy-winning boyfriend Bastian (Maluma) after they perform their latest single, Marry Me. She will be wearing a designer gown embellished with 10,000 hand-beaded crystals and the ceremony will stream live to a global audience of 20 million fans. Shortly before the big moment, Kat views leaked video footage of Bastian kissing her assistant (Katrina Cunningham).

Humiliated on the happiest day of her life, Kat stares into the concert crowd and makes a rambling speech (“If you want something different, you have to do something different”). Her tearful gaze settles on strait-laced mathematics teacher Charlie Gilbert (Wilson), who is standing with his daughter Lou (Chloe Coleman) and guidance councillor co-worker Parker (Sarah Silverman), holding a handmade sign that reads, Marry Me.

Impulsively, Kat accepts Charlie’s unintended proposal and one of her dancers officiates the union as jaws drop around the world. Off stage, Kat’s manager Collin (John Bradley) performs damage limitation. Meanwhile, Kat persuades Charlie to embrace her “manic response to an insane situation” and continue their relationship.

Marry Me makes all the right, well-rehearsed moves, showcasing assured performances from Lopez and Wilson alongside Silverman’s reliable comic relief. The script wholeheartedly embraces the mathematics motif, building a simple equation that adds together familiar ingredients then subtracts every tiny obstacle separating Kat and Charlie. The only surprise is that director Coiro takes almost two hours to reach the obvious answer.

– Sarah Lee